This month’s contribution to our blog, comes from Ms. Celia Espinoza, surrogate coordinator for A Host of Possibilities. Prior to joining our team here, Celia spent the past several years, on the other side of the fence, working for a local fertility clinic here in Boise Idaho. She has enjoyed learning the entirely other side of the surrogacy process, and has a new appreciation for the myriad of tasks, that coordinating a surrogacy entails.
Infertility, I have found, is not a common discussion people have over lunch dates with friends and family. In fact, I was astounded to find that many intended parents keep this from their loved ones. It made me realize that if assisted reproduction is so difficult for some to understand, then using a surrogate was definitely seen as nonconforming.
What I have found is that, without proper education about infertility, most of the process is easily misconstrued. Regrading the surrogacy side of this process specifically, some of the biggest misconceptions I have found are that:
• Surrogates are only doing it for the compensation.
While they do get paid for their dedication to the process, the compensation is not going to make the surrogate rich. Many of these women truly want to make a difference in someone’s life. Often times, they know someone who has struggled to build a family and are passionate about helping fulfill this dream for others.
• The baby is related to the surrogate.
Actually, biologically speaking, the child she is carrying has no genetic connection to her. Additionally, legal contracts are put into place well before the child’s birth, to ensure that the intended parents are recognized as legal parents of the child. These women already have their own families. They develop such great relationships with their intended parents during the process, the are ecstatic about making their IP’s dreams a reality.
• The Surrogate will want to keep the baby.
Women who are interested in becoming surrogates, go through an extensive screening process before their profiles are shared with Intending parents. They undergo psychological evaluations, to ensure that they are mentally and emotionally suitable to be a carrier.
• Surrogates won’t take care of the baby as if it were her own.
One of the biggest reasons surrogates choose to walk this journey is because they know how amazing the gift of life is. They want to make someone else’s dream of parenthood come true as well. These women have made a commitment to fulfill this task and take it very seriously. They know the responsibility that comes with the choice to be a surrogate and take the necessary steps to staying happy, healthy, and stress-free.
Our agency is always available to our surrogates, no matter the hour, to ensure they have the support they need when they need it.
Surrogate motherhood is one of the most selfless acts one can fulfill. From opening up their doors and lives to someone new, to the countless injections these women endure and the discomfort that is associated with them, to the birth and everything in between. These women are providing a lifelong gift to someone who otherwise may not have had this opportunity.