Becoming Parents
Dealing with infertility and accepting the reality that you need help having a baby, is often difficult. We “what if” ourselves a lot. We bargain, cry and become angry. When we are given the news that to have a child, we need to rely on a gestational carrier, not only can that be a big pill to swallow, but we need to think about if this is something we are ready for.
Making the choice to have a baby via gestational surrogacy is a decision that is going to affect a lot of people. These situations are intimate and delicate and it can take a toll on everyone’s emotions. There is so much to take in, work through, process and consider – the feelings of your surrogate as well as her family, your unborn baby, and yourself.
Your surrogacy team should consist of:
- A psychologist who is familiar with infertility and third party reproduction. He or she will help you talk through the feelings you may be having regarding infertility, grief, surrogacy, your treatment plan, pregnancy, bonding and parenting.
- An experienced surrogacy agency that will facilitate and coordinate your entire process – from A-Z. Your agency is the glue that keeps everything stuck together.
- A good quality fertility clinic. They will be your medical team that will coordinate the surrogacy cycle.
- A strong support system – friends, family, or community that you can lean on during your journey.
- And finally – your surrogate. Finding the right surrogate takes time. It’s important to find a surrogate that’s going to be a good fit for you and your family.
Granted there is a lot to think about as you make the leap from carrying a baby yourself to contracting with a surrogate to carry your baby on your behalf. However, surrogacy is done every day, all over the world and there are many happy, healthy outcomes. It just takes work, commitment, and patience.
The surrogacy process is complex for all parties, but the rewards can be great. We hope that we can help you experience the depth of feelings of being a parent and help you and your future surrogate create a bond that will last a lifetime.
The biggest question you must ask yourself is, how do you feel about someone else other than yourself, carrying a baby on your behalf?
If you are married or partnered, are you both ready and on the same page?
If you are single, do you have a good support system in place to help you through this process?
Have you thought about how you are going to talk about surrogacy, and the explanations surrounding this, to your family, friends and most importantly to your child?
Then of course, you must think about everything from selecting a surrogate, to medical procedures, the legal process, travel considerations and the delivery plan.
All these things can be talked through, worked out and processed with the help of a professional team that will help you navigate and facilitate the experience.
